On the long path back to Yissic’s village. It was cloudy today, and noticeably cool and breezy. The grey skies couldn’t dampen the Party’s spirits. Most of the group carries on as if nothing untoward happened yesterday. Alex was, as usual, quiet. Same too with Lunk, though we talked as we walked. Spiritz seems distracted by something. He kept to himself.
My mood is a reflection of the weather. I am troubled, conflicted. I may have been too giving of my trust, too eager to be liked and accepted into this group and our Guild. I should have asked more questions and maybe gotten to know the others before signing on with this crew.
I’m not worried for my safety. I don’t think anyone in this party is crazy or otherwise unpredictable.
No, this is a question of morals, and ethics. A question of their true natures. Deep down, I mean. On the surface, any man or woman wears the masks they fashion for themselves. Inside, in one’s heart, I believe there is a true face that one cannot hide forever. Sure as day, there come times in life when each man is pushed to a place of desperation, of rage, of fear, exhaustion, starvation… a state where it is impossible to keep one’s true self concealed.
Have I seen a vision of my associates’ true selves ? In these past two days alone, could it be that I glimpsed their very essence, laid bare by our circumstances ?
Or am I drawing conclusions from too narrow a pool of examples ? This is just as likely. It could well be that the events we have gone through yesterday and the day before it were just anomalies, momentary lapses of judgment or mistakes made honestly and without consideration.
Not all my associates warrant distrust. The newcomers, Ayreskin and Adiana, I have not known very long. I have said before, they seem genuine. Likeable, even. Both have their own curiosities, personality traits I look forward to understanding. Assuming they continue to adventure with us after we return to Callia.
Lunk has not done anything to be concerned about. In fact the whole time I have known him, he has been very levelheaded and quite approachable. Talking with him today as we hiked west towards the marshes, I got the broad strokes of where he has been since we parted ways. I will try to learn more tomorrow and make a report in a future entry. It’s of great interest to me.
Gord and Xel’Xaran; these two I pair together, also in the category of “not worrisome”. In all that has happened, going back even to the situation with the hobgoblin prisoner in Yissic’s camp, both have remained apart from the group’s decision-making processes. It may be that each are independently minded, or care little for politics or leadership roles, or all of those things. Regardless, neither one gives me cause for concern as to his state of mind.
Stopped early today to camp. We made a good distance today. With no objective but to return and report, the group consensus is to take it easy, eat more than usual, rest longer than usual, and enjoy the outdoors. Personally I am not in a place for enjoying anything.
Journal of Dr. Marcus Grant
Healing Cleric of Pelor, Order of St-Jude Academy (Silabrek)
44th Day, grasslands, territory of Ælim.